July 27 - What do I do now?
Just hours ago I was pumped up to save a life. It’s amazing how fast your can crash and burn. I, one of the top neurosurgeons in the country, nicked myself during surgery on an AIDS patient. I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel about it. On one hand, I saved the life of a patient that otherwise would have died. On the other, I put mine in jeopardy. When it happened I didn’t have time to think about it, I just did what I do best – I took care of my patient with no regard to anything else. That’s what I do or . . . did.
Six months. I’ve got six months to wait to know just how much my life will change. How am I supposed to wait? How do I get through that? Robin tells me I’m not alone, but that’s sure how it feels. I guess I’ll have to lay off Robin now. I can’t imagine going through this 10 years ago and as a kid . . . to not know the odds or the stats. Robin called me brave, but I don't feel brave right now. I'm terrified.
Six months. I’ve got six months to wait to know just how much my life will change. How am I supposed to wait? How do I get through that? Robin tells me I’m not alone, but that’s sure how it feels. I guess I’ll have to lay off Robin now. I can’t imagine going through this 10 years ago and as a kid . . . to not know the odds or the stats. Robin called me brave, but I don't feel brave right now. I'm terrified.
posted by B Kizer at 9:59 PM
1 Comments:
patrick,
this will be a very humbling experience for you. while u were selfless in your quest to save a life(which i admire by the way) your biggest hurdle the next six months will be ur ego. no one is a self made man/woman and u will learn that in the next six...God speed.
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