August 16 – Changing Priorities
I went back to Robin’s and apologized for walking out on her. I also explained why I walked out. In the past, I would have been all about myself. I would have taken what was offered and not given it a second thought. But, I couldn’t do that with Robin. If I test positive for HIV and I have a different strain, I could severely compromise her health. I couldn’t take a risk like that, even if she’s willing to. She been so supportive and understanding that I couldn’t let her think that I didn’t want to be with her. That’s the furthest thing from the truth. I’m trying to protect her. Well, my apology led to us talking about perspectives and Stone and life. I understand her better so much better now that I’m dealing with this situation.
I know I’m changing. Robin is hopefully the only one to catch on to that. I actually suggested that we share the wonderful dinner Robin cooked with April at the hospital. We had a great time. I really think April enjoyed the company and it was good spending some time with her. It was all good until I cut myself on a knife and was reminded how much of a danger I could be to Robin. We talked more and came to some realizations about changes to perspective when adversity comes. Priorities are definitely shifted. You start to take pleasure in the little things. Our talk led us in search of chocolate, since Robin forgot dessert with dinner.
Robin put her lock picking skills to use to get us into Kelly’s where we found chocolate cake and champagne. She pretended to feel guilty, but I think she got a kick out of the bit of breaking and entering. The chocolate cake wasn’t bad either. Someone had a radio that worked during the blackout and I even got a dance, that wasn’t interrupted by gunfire. After walking Robin back to her apartment, she almost had me convinced that I wouldn’t hurt her and that it was okay to get close to her, but that was broken up by a call from Epiphany about Ms. Sneed trying to throw April out of the hospital. That woman needs to find something better to do than harass my patients.
I went back to the hospital and found Ms. Sneed going at it with April. I happily put her out of April’s room and the two of us had a talk . . . that ultimately turned to Robin, much like most of my conversations of late. April said out of the blue that Robin is in love with me. She added that I’m in love with Robin. I’m not. What I feel for her can’t be love. Right? I’m not in love with anyone and I don’t do long term.
April did, however, help me gain some perspective about what I do feel for Robin. I care more for her than I’ve ever cared for any woman. How is that possible? If I were to ever fall in love with anyone, I can see it being Robin. Looking at April, I can also see that even though I’m a doctor I could easily be devastated by what could happen to Robin. I wouldn’t let her go through it alone, but it would be exceptionally hard to watch.
April encouraged me to tell Robin how I feel, because there are no guarantees. I did. I must have looked like an idiot. I went to Robin’s door and told her that I care about her and then I left. I just left. When did smooth, charming, confident Patrick Drake start sharing his feelings? I’m not sure whether this is a good thing or a bad one yet. I’m sure I’ll find out soon enough.
I know I’m changing. Robin is hopefully the only one to catch on to that. I actually suggested that we share the wonderful dinner Robin cooked with April at the hospital. We had a great time. I really think April enjoyed the company and it was good spending some time with her. It was all good until I cut myself on a knife and was reminded how much of a danger I could be to Robin. We talked more and came to some realizations about changes to perspective when adversity comes. Priorities are definitely shifted. You start to take pleasure in the little things. Our talk led us in search of chocolate, since Robin forgot dessert with dinner.
Robin put her lock picking skills to use to get us into Kelly’s where we found chocolate cake and champagne. She pretended to feel guilty, but I think she got a kick out of the bit of breaking and entering. The chocolate cake wasn’t bad either. Someone had a radio that worked during the blackout and I even got a dance, that wasn’t interrupted by gunfire. After walking Robin back to her apartment, she almost had me convinced that I wouldn’t hurt her and that it was okay to get close to her, but that was broken up by a call from Epiphany about Ms. Sneed trying to throw April out of the hospital. That woman needs to find something better to do than harass my patients.
I went back to the hospital and found Ms. Sneed going at it with April. I happily put her out of April’s room and the two of us had a talk . . . that ultimately turned to Robin, much like most of my conversations of late. April said out of the blue that Robin is in love with me. She added that I’m in love with Robin. I’m not. What I feel for her can’t be love. Right? I’m not in love with anyone and I don’t do long term.
April did, however, help me gain some perspective about what I do feel for Robin. I care more for her than I’ve ever cared for any woman. How is that possible? If I were to ever fall in love with anyone, I can see it being Robin. Looking at April, I can also see that even though I’m a doctor I could easily be devastated by what could happen to Robin. I wouldn’t let her go through it alone, but it would be exceptionally hard to watch.
April encouraged me to tell Robin how I feel, because there are no guarantees. I did. I must have looked like an idiot. I went to Robin’s door and told her that I care about her and then I left. I just left. When did smooth, charming, confident Patrick Drake start sharing his feelings? I’m not sure whether this is a good thing or a bad one yet. I’m sure I’ll find out soon enough.
posted by B Kizer at 4:14 PM
1 Comments:
Great writing! love it!
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