August 9 – Stepping Back
Liz and Maxie almost got into a cat fight today because Maxie is sleeping with Lucky. How could he cheat on his wife when she loves him so much? Liz says that Maxie had to manipulate Lucky for him to cheat. Maybe she’s right, but I’m sure the drug addiction isn’t helping. If he’s as much a man’s man as she believes, the back injury and everything with his work has to be a heavy blow, but that’s no excuse. Whatever Liz decides, I’ll help her as much as I can. She’s been a good friend to me and I want to return the favor.
Before all the Liz and Maxie drama, Robin found me in the locker room and invited me to dinner. I tried to get out of it, but she wouldn’t take “no” for an answer. She looked so adorable with that expectant look on her face that I couldn’t turn her down. She admitted that she wants me, even now. I know she’s just being supportive, but I’m not doing real well with that right now. I’m tired of people walking on egg shells around me and trying to make me feel better. I know I’m pushing people away, but I’m dealing with this the best I can or at least I thought I was.
I ran into Gwen from Mercy and told her about my incident in the OR. She couldn’t get away from me fast enough. What does that say when an educated medical professional runs the other way? Maybe she’s just smarter than the rest of us. I’m still on PEP protocol and I don’t know how I’ll test in 6 months. What could that mean for me and Robin?
I got to her house and she’d made dinner. We talked about her upcoming move and then she made a move. I couldn’t reciprocate. Robin wants me to know that the HIV scare doesn’t make me a different person, but I feel different. Maybe I am in a place where I expect rejection like Liz says. I don’t know, but I do know I don’t plan on sleeping with Robin until I have some answers. I can’t take a chance with her.
Before all the Liz and Maxie drama, Robin found me in the locker room and invited me to dinner. I tried to get out of it, but she wouldn’t take “no” for an answer. She looked so adorable with that expectant look on her face that I couldn’t turn her down. She admitted that she wants me, even now. I know she’s just being supportive, but I’m not doing real well with that right now. I’m tired of people walking on egg shells around me and trying to make me feel better. I know I’m pushing people away, but I’m dealing with this the best I can or at least I thought I was.
I ran into Gwen from Mercy and told her about my incident in the OR. She couldn’t get away from me fast enough. What does that say when an educated medical professional runs the other way? Maybe she’s just smarter than the rest of us. I’m still on PEP protocol and I don’t know how I’ll test in 6 months. What could that mean for me and Robin?
I got to her house and she’d made dinner. We talked about her upcoming move and then she made a move. I couldn’t reciprocate. Robin wants me to know that the HIV scare doesn’t make me a different person, but I feel different. Maybe I am in a place where I expect rejection like Liz says. I don’t know, but I do know I don’t plan on sleeping with Robin until I have some answers. I can’t take a chance with her.
posted by B Kizer at 9:44 PM
1 Comments:
Hey Patrick, here I was thinking, I had a bad week. I must admit considering everything that happened to you, you are handling it well. Sorry your friend reacted that way after finding out your status. I figure she just didn't know what to do or say. I hope it all works out for you. My best.
Cristian
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