August 26 – Nothing is Guaranteed
Yesterday, Robin was still avoiding me. The lab had become her refuge from live patients. I know April’s loss is hard on her; it’s hard on me, too. But, I know April would never want Robin to give up. She tells me she’s been dealing in her own way, but she’s been hiding from everything and everyone that makes her feel alive. We got into another disagreement about that before I saw a patient of my dad’s – Alexis Davis, a prime example of nothing in life being guaranteed.
Earlier in the year, Alexis could have died during the encephalitis outbreak, but instead she got the only available dose of the antidote when I would have given it to Robin. Yes, we got enough of the antidote just in the nick of time to save Robin and everyone else in the hospital, but we were worried. Now, Robin is as healthy as anyone with HIV can be, and Alexis may be dying of lung cancer. That is how uncertain life can be and there’s nothing we can do about it, except celebrating every moment we have. Robin taught me that and no matter what she says, she has to believe that in that place deep down inside herself. She couldn’t have been putting spin on everything just for the rest of us. Robin had to believe to have such strong convictions when anyone disputed her. She just had to remember it. And maybe she has.
When I went to scrub in for my surgery yesterday afternoon, Dr. Scorpio showed up to scrub in as well. She must be feeling better, because she was all ready to tell me what I’d missed in my original assessment and start giving me orders like usual. I know she won’t just automatically get over losing April, but I’ll take what I can get. I must admit I’ve missed her in the OR. It’s good to have her back.
Earlier in the year, Alexis could have died during the encephalitis outbreak, but instead she got the only available dose of the antidote when I would have given it to Robin. Yes, we got enough of the antidote just in the nick of time to save Robin and everyone else in the hospital, but we were worried. Now, Robin is as healthy as anyone with HIV can be, and Alexis may be dying of lung cancer. That is how uncertain life can be and there’s nothing we can do about it, except celebrating every moment we have. Robin taught me that and no matter what she says, she has to believe that in that place deep down inside herself. She couldn’t have been putting spin on everything just for the rest of us. Robin had to believe to have such strong convictions when anyone disputed her. She just had to remember it. And maybe she has.
When I went to scrub in for my surgery yesterday afternoon, Dr. Scorpio showed up to scrub in as well. She must be feeling better, because she was all ready to tell me what I’d missed in my original assessment and start giving me orders like usual. I know she won’t just automatically get over losing April, but I’ll take what I can get. I must admit I’ve missed her in the OR. It’s good to have her back.
posted by B Kizer at 4:59 PM
2 Comments:
hi patrick...i am glad robin came in to acrub to assist in the OR...i think what changed her attitude so quickly was the letter that april wrote to robin..april told robin not to give up and among other things..sure robin is taking april's death really hard right now...but robin will come around and be back to her old self again..and you are right...nothing is guaranteed...take care of robin and love her...she has taught you to be a kind and caring man and i saw that in you with april too..i think april changed you and robin for the better..
I've been worried about Robin. She fights for everybody else except herself, and this time it just overwhelmed her. Patrick, your brush with HIV must also be terrifying to her. Every time she sees fear in your eyes, she must remember seeing the same in Stone's eyes. She loves you--we all know this. Make her beleive that love is worth fighting for...
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