August 30 – Blaming Yourself
Earlier tonight I saw Liz at the hospital and I do not envy her. I’ve been where she is. I totally blamed myself for my dad’s drinking. I thought if only I can be the best student, the best doctor, whatever it took to make my dad stop drinking and be there for me. I guess in that respect I’m a lot like Robin. She worked really hard to get good grades and to be a good girl so that her parents would come home safe and I did the same thing. Neither of us realized at the time that only our parents could make the choices to be there for us. There was really nothing we could do.
Thanks to an attending physician I went to AA and got some insight into why my dad chose to drink and why I felt the need to try and control him by being the best. AA helped me put my actions in perspective and saved my life. At the rate I was going, I would have worked myself into an early grave. Now, thanks to Robin, Dad and I are better than we’ve been in a long time. I hope Liz and Lucky make it through this stronger. I know she loves him and that she blames herself, but only Lucky can fix this.
Thanks to an attending physician I went to AA and got some insight into why my dad chose to drink and why I felt the need to try and control him by being the best. AA helped me put my actions in perspective and saved my life. At the rate I was going, I would have worked myself into an early grave. Now, thanks to Robin, Dad and I are better than we’ve been in a long time. I hope Liz and Lucky make it through this stronger. I know she loves him and that she blames herself, but only Lucky can fix this.
posted by B Kizer at 12:21 AM
2 Comments:
I'm glad you found help with AlAnon, the group that helps folks living with an alcoholic. It's a wonderful service to people like you who try to cope in ways that end up being destructive. For Robin's sake, I wish there was an Abandonment Anon, or something like it to help her cope with the fear of losing love again. Be there for her, Patrick. Remind her again that you're not going anywhere.
hey patrick...i am glad you opened up to liz and shed some light in to this thing we call addiction...whether its drugs, gambling or alcohol...i am glad you got the help you needed at the time your dad was drinking and hopefully liz and lucky will be able to get through this tough time...you are right - lucky is the one that needs to fix the situation and he needs tough love...but lucky is giving everyone a hard time...liz should give lucky an ultimatum like you gave to your father...either get the help you need or leave..in this case liz will leave lucky if he does not straighten out..
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