April 8 – Getting By

This week has been a hard one. Seeing Robin at work and knowing that she was going home to Nikolas pisses me off. As a result of it, I jumped down Epiphany’s throat and threw Robin and Nikolas in Emily’s face. I felt bad about that. Emily is going through the same thing I am and she didn’t deserve that from me.

Speaking of Emily, she’s in denial. Emily just doesn’t believe that Nikolas would hurt her again and because she was there when Robin was only thinking of me when she was shot. I didn’t want to believe either, but the reality is that Robin is living with Nikolas and Emily and I are alone.

Yes, there’s something strange going on with Robin and she doesn’t look particularly happy with this new arrangement. Maybe, it’s just the fact that she knows how much I love her and she tossed my love back in my face as if she didn’t care. Maybe if I was a different man, I’d just let it go or hold on to the hope that she’ll come back to me. I’m not that man and I’m not that noble. I will not make this easy for her.

April 1 – April Fools

I guess the joke’s on me. I thought what Robin and I had was the real thing, that thing I saw between my mom and dad. Obviously, I was wrong. I been working at allowing myself to open up and let my guard down and what does Robin do when I let her in, she runs out on me. And not only does she leave me, but she leaves me for Nikolas. She says their only friends and that I need to trust her and respect her decisions, but she doesn’t trust me. After all the things we’ve been to each other, for her to move in with Nikolas at the spur of the moment is beyond belief.

I gave her more than one chance to talk to me and let me help her with whatever is going on and she refused. I don’t know if she was lying to me the whole time or if she’s caught up in something that’s really dangerous, but either way, I’m done. I’ve tried and I’m not that patient guy who’ll just wait around for the other shoe to drop. I guess I’m just not that loyal and decent. Right now, I’m pissed . . . and I’m hurt. If and when she does come around, I don’t know that I’ll be waiting for her. How could she expect me to?